Slave-Master Set-Up at Nail Salons

photo-1463018122985-d3ece5248b05Here I share my realizations and insights from my experience receiving a manicure and pedicure:

First of all, I noticed upon getting the pedicure how the worker was bent over to tend to my feet. I immediately looked at how uncomfortable they must be, hunched over. But what was most disturbing to me was how the whole set up was like slave-serving-master, where I was sitting above the person in a large comfortable chair, having my feet being tended to while the worker was hunched over doing their job. I am sure they, like me, would not enjoy cleaning other stranger’s feet, rubbing off grime, and picking off cuticles, but it is their job. The workers also come from Asia, and do not speak much English. Perhaps they are immigrants who came here for a better life, but this type of job is nothing glamorous, and not the ‚‘American Dream’’ people want.

From my experience receiving this treatment, questions came up:

—How can one relax and enjoy a manicure/pedicure when another is breaking their back for you? How can this be glamorous? How can a customer truly be happy if the working environment of their attendant does not consider human comfort and needs?

Then I remembered the saying ’no one is free until all are free,’’ from the Desteni community, where within the principles of equality and oneness, I see it as: we as people cannot be or live in true happiness unless all people in this world are equally happy and free — most specifically free from consciousness that has been programmed as an enslavement tool for humanity.

There’s a lot to think about and consider when it comes to the working conditions and treatments we allow our fellow humans to endure and live with every day.  The only real thing we can do to start making an impact in this world is to actually become living individuals of change – changing ourselves into a person who actually cares about life, about others, and about themselves.

The free Desteni Lite Process course is a great first start to taking that step into real self change.

256. Men – Part 1

photo-1454625191319-786c05137ef5I was flipping through a yearbook and saw photo of a male classmate who use to be very nice to me. I had a movement in me, opened it up through Self-Forgiveness, and wanted to explore it deeper here… 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable towards men/males being nice to me, since I am suspicious that they really do not mean to be so, genuinely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the belief and idea that most to all men are really not nice, genuinely, and that they are really mean

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that men/males really are just mean by using examples of my past, and memories of when I perceived males to be mean/not so nice, either to me or to people in general

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men, especially men who are nice to me because I don’t believe them to be really nice, and that they either have hidden intentions (which is why they are nice) or that they are not really nice but putting on a face

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not believe in one man’s ”nice’expression/could not believe one man to suddenly be nice to me after not seeing him for a long time, because he had for the majority of my life, been ”mean”/not nice to me, to the point of bullying, from which I can see I haven’t forgiven yet

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have been holding onto memories of situations and interactions with men/certain men in the past, who have treated me (in what I perceive) as unkindly, and not nice and used those interactions to support and justification the idea/belief all men are really not nice or mean, due to what I’ve experienced with them in the past, carrying these beliefs with me as a point of protection from feeling/getting hurt by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘hate’ men for being mean to women, instead of seeing how I have in a way am taking sides against them and separating myself from the

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give me and my self-worth/voice away to the fear I have towards males and what they may say or do to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men call me fat, and/or ugly because if they call me these things I will believe them and take their words personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to the words from a man, then from me and who/how I see myself, believe of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and find myself inferior and not good enough for men, instead of questioning where and when did I allow myself to give my self-worth to them? since I realize that I have given my power and my self-worth to men and their words and judgements towards me and women

I commit myself to investigate when and where did it begin where I shifted my self-worth to the words and actions of men, and why, so I can forgive each point of self-seperation and align myself back into self-acceptance and self-worth

I commit myself to purify my relationship to the words ”fat” and ”ugly” so if IF I am called those words, I know my relationship to them and do not take words personally, but know where to stand with myself with/from those words

I commit myself to forgive and release the attachments I have defined myself towards my own memories towards men while creating my new relationship with who I am and where I stand with men, and their words/behaviors towards me

255. From Spoiled to Responsible with Money

photo-1434123700504-d8cfba6a12c8Before I was careless about money. I had major credit card debt, and had the attitude that I will eventually pay it off later, everything is ok, as I continued to go shopping and buy whatever I wanted and needed. 

I lived with my parents up to my late 20’s and was quite spoiled in that I didn’t have to pay for rent or my car.

Because I didn’t have that responsibility, I hadn’t necessarily developed the awareness and or had education on how to be responsible with money and doing future planning. I just bought what I wanted, easily. I never told my parents about my credit card debt – I kept that quiet cause I didn’t think it was a big issue. I was apathetic and in denial with my finances. I didn’t think I could be affected with it. The reality of debt hit me hard when I was planning to get married, and planning to move overseas to be with my partner, and I realized I have actual money to pay off, otherwise it’s going to stay stuck with me, even overseas. I did have my partner help me out, but through babysitting and odd jobs I eventually paid it off.

When I left my job to officially live with my partner, I became financially dependent on him, and my partner grew up in a household where money was precious, and the father especially made sure that they never went over their spendings, or had debt. The family saved a lot of money over the years and only bought what they needed, so they were always extremely careful with money. They only bought the essentials, and they only bought food they needed and only went out to a restaurant once a year. So how my partner grew up in regards to money and spending/using money was SO DIFFERENT than how I spent/used money.

Because of our different backgrounds with money, my partner and I had a LOT of conflicts about it, and I went into these temper tantrums when I wanted something he saw as unnecessary and excessive. It got to the point where I would have these emotional outbursts in public when I couldn’t get what I wanted. It was very embarrassing cause my partner would say to STOP IT, cause I was being loud and embarrassing myself. I did not know the extent of my emotional possessions until it was too late and I had already acted out from them. I forgave myself of my behavior in public, committing myself to become more aware of who I am when it comes to my behavior with getting things I want, slowing down and acting in a way that I would be proud of.

I knew I had a problem at that point. I knew that I had to work it out. I found the main reason of my initial instability was the transition of coming from a spoiled, free-flowing buy whatever you want lifestyle to suddenly becoming financially dependent with someone on a limited budget was a bit extreme for me, which opened up intense emotions and behaviors in me.

Dealing with my emotional outbursts/temper tantrums using real time application was tough because the energy experience was so strong, and made me feel powerful in that if I acted on the temper tantrum I believed I would get what I wanted. But actually my partner would stand his ground and not allow it, would reason with me on why what I wanted was not necessary, or that we can’t afford it. He did this over and over again (stood his ground) until I realized how I need to let these emotions go because my behaviors were futile, and I didn’t actually want to be like this. 

I had to accept my reality of where I was at, and my position, and that I have everything I need to survive and live comfortably on, even if I am not 100% happy with it. It took a LONG time for me to accept this reality.

Eventually when I got full time work, my partner and I collectively had more money, and this allowed us to get an apartment and become more responsible with our assets. We realized we needed to come up with a more structured way of using money, so we agreed on a monthly allowance, where we got the same budge of allowance equally with our individual freedom to buy what we wanted within our allowance, and then the rest of the money would go to the apartment, bills, and savings. This has worked out quite well.

Sometimes I still experience the emotional conflict of whether to buy something or not… should I get it…I really want it … within a particular  energy of desire — what really supports me is taking a deep breath, and asking myself self-honestly‚”do I need this, will I actually use this?” using constructive imagination to place myself in the future with the item, in determining if it would be used, and what the consequences would be if I were to buy this item. I wasn’t perfect with this – I stumbled and bought some things too much, and had to face my partner about it, since my spendings came from our money pot, but over time, the more I stopped myself from buying unnecessary items, asking myself questions within self-honesty, I got more stable with what I wanted and over time understood what I needed, and became happy and proud with my choices.

So here’s a breakdown of what supported me over the years walking from being irresponsible with money, to responsible:

What supported me

  • Oberserving, learning, and appreciating the simplistic lifestyle of my partner’s family by allowing myself to listen and remain humble to where my partner was coming from, his suggestions on saving money and how to work with it, taking the best points and using it with our finances
  • Getting a job, and being responsible with my paycheck in giving some money to bills, etc
  • Making the agreement with my partner that my money is his money, and vice versa, meaning that all of our money goes into a collective pot for the both of us
    • We sat down and wrote out a plan on how much money goes to rent, bills, etc, how much to use as allowance, how much to savings, holiday, etc, and it took me like 3 months to settle in with this plan, cause sometimes I would overspend, but me and my partner always went back to our agreement, and I would remind myself again and again of the agreement, and if I fell/overspent on something, I had to face my partner about it, and the consequence would allow me to pick myself back up and commit to be better for next month. 
    • Yes I originally got upset about the limited budget, but I realized this is what I need to make myself responsible. This is real life and ”I need this discipline.”  Over time I realized that if I wanted some nice shoes, I see if I can wait a month, and if I can’t wait, cause I need them for a special event, etc, I to talk to my partner about it, and see if he can help me or if we can take a certain amount of money out of my allowance every month to pay for it, so its about communicating and working with my partner
  • Allowing my partner to be the manager of our finances where he directs the money to the appropriate bills and resources since he has the most stable relationship with money and knows when not to overspend.

If it wasn’t for my partner, who stood his ground, and saw the importance of keeping to our budget, of being responsible for money, and for me, allowing myself to listen to his suggestions, to have that ability in me to become humble, and to find solutions through my time participating in Desteni and applying the tools, I wouldn’t be who I am today. So I am very grateful.

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

254. Perspectives on TV and Celebrity Gossip Distractions

photo-1461151304267-38535e780c79I’ve been in the USA for a week now, since living in Europe for 2 years, and have been amazed by the amount of distractions that my home country has – and I’ve only become aware of since coming back here.

There are a lot of TV shows and channels, with a bombardment of commercials. In the country of Austria for example, there are commercials, but not as frequent as US. Like for a 30 minute TV show, commercials come in 15 minutes in, and stream a few minutes, whereas in the US, commercials seem to come every 5 minutes in between the TV show.  

This is also the same with the radio – with more commercials than music, and sometimes there are breaks in between commercials to talk about latest celebrity gossip. There is more news on celebrities than actual real-life serious events, and I’m assuming it’s cause people want to hear celebrity news more than news that matters. It seems to be much more accepted and ok to talk about and get involved in other people’s (celebrity) lives, as if we truly care? Does this really matter? Why is Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift’s feud so important – what is the point… why do we care?  

On US news reports,there is heavy emphasis on using words to evoke emotion and fear. ”Deadly flood in Missouri,” or ”frightening car accident,” is mentioned to discuss tragic events – and with these added words ”deadly” and ”frightening,” make the news report seem so much more dramatic and fear-inducing for the viewers.

The hosts know the right tones and words to capture your attention, and by getting to your emotions, your fears, you allow yourself to be captured and enticed by the words. These speakers know how to bring you in, even if temporarily, as a form of manipulation. Isn’t this brainwashing? Or a form of enslavement?  It is really sad to know people are unaware of these points, which is why I find it necessary to talk about it now.

Yesterday, while I watched my dad flip through commercial after commercial on TV, I asked my mom if the USA has the most TV viewers, because it seems so with the amount of new TV shows being premiered.  Surprinsingly, research shows USA ranks #6, while Thailand is number 1.

Regardless, TV shows and celebrity news can be a major distraction for people, and if you have not investigated the nature of TV reports, and manipulation in the media, one can easily be pulled in with certain words, and tones of voices and get easily swayed by people’s words.

Finding a balance between TV and staying grounded in the real world, as well as knowing where you stand with words and the media seems like the best way to go. The free DIP Lite program is the first step to erase the media’s manipulation on you, so give it a shot and see what you discover from it!

Also, worthwhile investments:

Media Hypnotism

Losing Touch in Watching

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

253. My Relationship with Sleep

photo-1455026733626-d2d31efe4976The Problem: It is still difficult for me to get up from bed when I have planned to get up earlier to work on some tasks. These tasks are specific to me expanding in myself and my process from consciousness to awareness, but there is almost zero motivation to get up from it, because me in bed is sooo much more comfortable, and that experience supersedes getting up and doing my things.

The reason why I am taking on this point now is because I truly do want to wake up early to work on these tasks, since they are supportive in fulfilling commitments I made to myself and also fit in well with my daily schedule, where if I do 1 major self-supportive task in the morning before work, it opens up more time in the evening for me to work on other self-supportive tasks. So it is also me trying to balance my schedule to include everything I want to do in my day, and in order to do that I need to wake up earlier to do this.

But the comfortability is what I allow to get in the way from waking up, and moving myself.  Behind it is also resistance: I don’t want to get up and do this, I want to stay in bed where it’s warm and comfortable. 

Solution: Identify the mind triggers and experiences that I allow myself to fall into not getting up from a comfortable state in bed and the desire to go back to sleep. That prevent me from taking a breath, embracing the new day and getting up.

*One reason I see is because I have not made peace or resolved issues the day before, so instead of waking up refreshed and ready to embrace and walk my day, I still carry the ”burdens” and problems from yesterday. Solution: Find time and space before bed to walk and direct any problems. Because if I don’t resolve that is another reason to want to stay in bed, so to not face the issues from the day before. 

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow mental and physical comfortability of staying and sleeping in bed to superseded commitments I made for myself to do in the morning

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I don’t deal with and resolve issues and points from yesterday (last night) then I will bring it with me the next day and it will influence how I get up, whereas if I had problems I could not find direction/solutions to I would most likely like to hide them in sleep as much as possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing my day, and facing the problems, fears and points I do not understand and have given direction to, not realizing the more I do not face and direct points, the more I resist waking up and facing myself and my day, and the less empowered and self-directed I will become, and I actually truly want to become a self-empowered, self-directive being

I realize in order to become this self-empowered, self-directive being who actually LIVES, I must face every fear, and every issue in me. I realize it is fear that I’ve allowed to prevent me from moving on and embracing my day/my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as an escape mechanism to hide me from my insecurities and fears that I face and automatically suppress in my daily life, instead of finding ways and support to face, understand and direct these fears

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I allow fears and insecurities from the day before effect how I stand up and move the next day/morning, I am communicating to myself, to my body and to everyone in general I am allowing fears and insecurities to define me, to direct and influence me instead of me as self-directive principle

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to become my own support buddy, finding solutions, tools and creative ways to face fears and insecurities I have during my daily life, that way I expand, develop and grow into a more self-directive, confident being

I commit myself to find the space and time before bed to walk through any specific fears or insecurities I may have that may affect who I am tomorrow/the next day, since I truly want to LIVE and not have fears and insecurities drive me in my life anymore

I commit myself to stop allowing fears and insecurities to drive and define me, by stopping the communication I give to myself, to others that fears and insecurities are more than me, which I communicate through hiding in sleep, or suppressing in my day, and now I take my self-power back by facing each point and directing them to the best of my ability 

I commit myself to find the time and space the day before to walk/direct any priority points/issues so I can have a good rest and be able to wake up the next day able and have the mind set to continue what I committed to do, embracing the new day

Will continue with more…

 

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

 

252. Noticing My Movements

photo-1451933371645-a3029668b979I have had a cold the last few days, which supported me to slow down, and observe more of my movements and how I interact in my daily environment.

At home, something as simple as making tea ends up not so graceful and aligned. Like pouring water into a cup from a water heater — I ended up missing the water going into the cup and allowed it to drop onto the counter. This showed me my misalignment with the cup, the water heater and the water itself. I saw this behavior, and saw my lack of care in this moment, which led to me missing a moment with the cup and pouring some water on the counter. This is a habit I tend to do where I will spill things because I do not give what I am doing 100% of my care and attention. I have ”other things I need to do,” that I give more value to instead of what I’m doing in the moment.

Looking at it ideally, I should give everything I do in the moment equal attention value. Who I am in the moment, and what I am doing should be given this, because what I am doing is a part of me and my living experience. If I am not here, giving care, consideration and attention to what I am doing and suppose to be doing because my priorities and/or focus is somewhere ”else” (a.k.a in my mind) then I am missing moments, moments right here in front of me, moments OF ME, where I am with me. If I am not with me, and what I am doing, reality will show me the misalignments (like pouring water onto the counter instead of in the cup).

Self-Forgiveness, Self-Realizations & Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention and value to things outside of me, like tasks I need to do in the near future instead of giving attention and value to what I am doing right now in this moment

From this, I realize that when I miss a moment of what I am doing in the moment, I miss a moment with me and what is in front of me

I commit myself to move my focus to me and what I am doing in the moment, in breath, and whenever I see me shift away from reality and into the mind, I bring myself gently back

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care more about what I need to do in the future/near future than what I am doing NOW, not realizing it is the NOW that determines the future and who I will be in the future, because if I am not here with me and what I am doing in the present moment, I am communicating to myself and reality that I cannot be trusted that I will be here/present in the moments in the future, which is why it is necessary and of greatest support to be here with me, in what I am doing in the moment

I commit myself to apply care and consideration to every task I do by being present while working with it, giving it my attention and taking care of it as I see it most supportive/best, since that also supports me in working equal with my reality and what I’m doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care or consider what I am doing in this moment now, such as pouring water in a cup,through living the backchat ”I don’t want to do this, I want to do something else…” which then shows by spilling water, or not closing lids on bottles properly, instead of realizing how within not giving my full attention to what I am doing in the moment, I am creating consequences and existing in personal preferences of self-interest instead of acting simply as a being in care of life and doing my job at it’s best within the moment.

From this I also realize how fun I can make it living in the moment and deciding for myself how I want to move and direct me in the task that will create a supportive outcome and job well done that I can be satisfied with

When and as I see myself think ”I don’t want to do this, I want to do something else…”I stop and I breathe. I realize I am existing in personal preferences of self-interest and instead shift myself and my awareness to what the moment and task in front of me requires of me, and from there, act on it within care and consideration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in apathy towards the small and seemingly unimportant tasks, like kitchen work, closing the lid on a bottle, and doing such tasks half heartedly – with no care and consideration to do it properly because I have given other tasks priority and importance than the objects and tasks I am doing right now

From this I realize how I fuel inequality to happen, where I give more attention and care to one thing while another not so much, when it should be that I give care and consideration to all things equally in everything I do. Where I do the tasks properly and in alignment with physical reality needs.

I think it is ok to have important tasks be priority, but it should not cloud me in my mind when I doing something else – because my focus should be what I am doing now, and doing it to the best of my ability. I should not just put in the best effort in only priority tasks, but in all tasks, the great and the small – that way I am living and applying equality for all life/things.

I commit myself to give attention and value to every task I do equally, since all items and jobs here should be treated in care, consideration and support

I commit myself to do the best I can in the jobs and tasks I am involved in, staying in the present moment, being here with me in my living experience.

 

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

251. Creating an Effective Facebook Community

photo-1455734729978-db1ae4f687fcA year and a half ago I was sitting by my computer one day with questions on where to find this specific clothing piece. I was 6 months in living in a European country and was still not use to doing research to answer my questions in another language. I realized that the Facebook groups I was a part of had people who provided what I describe as insensitive and sarcastic remarks, and the last thing I wanted as a person still struggling in a foreign country was people to treat me unkindly when I ask them questions.

So I decided to create my own Facebook group for women only, because many of the questions I had were female-related, and I was not comfortable asking such questions publicly were men were present and people were free to comment in whatever (harmful) nature they wanted without consequences.

I made sure that when I created the women’s group I set in guidelines: First it was going to be a closed group, so only women can come. This closed-group also allows for women to feel safe asking personal questions women can relate and respond to.

The second guideline I created was that this was a safe space for women to ask questions and get answers, so please treat another the way you want to be treated.  Any form of abuse will not be tolerated.

The guidelines were inspired through my time being an admin for the Porn and Masurbation Addiction Support group that emphasized being a safe space for people to share their struggles and support each other, and the admins did what they could to welcome them, and give them gentle yet firm support/advice.

Those guidelines of support is what led to the incredible growth of the women’s group. Within 1.5 years we reached 5,000 women in our group. Me and 4 other admins still stick to making sure the group runs smoothly and conflicts are directed accordingly, and over time I’ve received positive comments about the group, how it changed their life, how many friends they made…It’s been really cool to hear it, but I don’t allow myself to go into ego over it, because I know it’s not just me who made it what it is – it is also the other organizers who helped me, as well as the women/members themselves that continue to support and help each other out and stick to the principles/guidelines.

There has been talk about a men’s group, but no one has yet to step up to the plate. Perhaps it is more difficult for men to create such a group because to open up and share your struggles, or ask personal questions in front of other men supersedes the ego, and in society, men are suppose to be seen as strong and any point of vulnerability is a sign of ‚‘weakness.’’  It is such a shame this can hinder people from seeking support…

But I’d like to add that when I first created the group I was so hesitant to start sharing it in the other Facebook communities. I was afraid of the feedback and people making fun of me or potential backlash from men.  But my starting point in creating it was based on a need and from that need I saw having this group would not only support me, but other women too, especially those in the same boat as me (a foreigner/immigrant of another country).  I said ‚‘ok let’s do this,’’ and just started to promote and share it in the expat communities. Already by that first day I had women write to me ‚‘great initiative!’’ So I knew with that feedback I could keep going🙂

Throughout the months the demand for women to meet each other was apparent. The first event was held at a restaurant and over 30 women came. It took a lot of me to sit and wait to meet strangers, but the more I talked and allowed myself to open up and get to know other people, the more bold I became, in asking questions and introducing myself to people I don’t know. From there, I established connections, made new friends and became more comfortable living in my new home city.

So it’s been a little over a year now and from walking the creation of this women’s group, I now see myself as a more bold, outgoing, assertive and directive person. Sure, I still have my point of insecurities and social awkwardness, but it was through applying the principle of self-support, not only for myself, but for others, that really made me jump into the deep end.

I want to thank the community Desteni for introducing to me the principles of living what is best for all/self, and to the people who have supported me/shown me what it means to care about others and life. Without meeting you I wouldn’t be who I am today. Thank you so much!

 

Additional Support:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships